There is good news though, that with a bit of mindfulness training and coming to understand how to set personal boundaries, integrity can naturally start to come out and get established.
Just doggedly coming back to the cushion, again and again, bringing your awareness back to the breath or the sensation of your body sitting again and again, and eventually, your view may lighten and meditation may suddenly - just for a few moments - seem lighter and more spacious.
With stronger boundaries, one has less to dwell on in the past and more confidence that whatever arises in the future can be met and handled; one starts to naturally rest in the present moment and thus mindfulness becomes more natural at this point and can take on life's ups and downs more easily.
Secondly, that area of safety creates a calm in our lives; being an honest alright guy (or girl) means others trust us and we trust ourselves; relationships like this are happy ones and usually stronger too.
Mindfulness meditation has been found to have some success within helping buried, un-dealt with actions giving them space to surface, burn off and leave the doer relieved in themselves at least.
However, one of the subtler aspects of us human beings is the nagging little voice inside that likes to criticise and find fault, but it can be the straw that breaks the donkeys back in times of trouble.
So, let’s take a look at what that little voice is and how it can be handled both in times of trouble and times of steadiness.
I’ve been fortunate, as I, like many, had a lot of challenges growing up as a teenager; at the time I didn’t see it this way though! I was rather rebellious with long hair, highly strung, and towards the end of the teen years, experienced a very down unhappy period.
We are going to reflect on how that voice of doubt and criticism can be softened through some simple changes to how we approach each day to reveal the empathic, and steadier, side of our hearts. Then in times of trouble, one will have access to this natural empathy to help one navigate such times rather than be sunk by the voice of negativity.